Self-mage is how you view or look at yourself. How you perceive yourself to be. Dealing with CSA trauma always embeds a persona about self. It can be your appearance, your walk, the way your talk, or your body. You may believe your appearance is not pretty or that your voice sounds nasty. Being dark-skinned was not favorable when I was a kid. I am a dark-skinned lady. When I was growing up dark-skinned people was the ugliest people on this earth occurring to society. When you look back years ago, dark-skinned people did not have many friends. I realized my childhood sexual trauma disabled me to love myself. Over years I had to learn to love myself again and realize that no one was going to love me since I did not love myself first.
I wanted to feel love, therefore, I had to figure out how to start loving myself. When you learn how to love yourself, you start experiencing wonderful things. Mostly emotions you have never felt before. Overall, you will start feeling like you can take on the world. Entertaining your thoughts of your not worthy because of your appearance or speech or whatever, you will continue to halter yourself from healing and growing. Continuing to halter and entertain these thoughts will allow more negative images and perceptions of yourself, which, will eventually cause you to continue to see self yourself in a negative way.
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In order to start to heal from your CSA trauma, you must realize you love yourself. Start treating yourself like you love yourself. Go shopping just because you want to, go out to eat just because you want to, spend time doing everything you like to do or want to try, whether you have someone with you or not. Just enjoy yourself by doing it in a manner that you would want someone else to do it for you.
Acquisition of others
Everybody has something to say about everyone’s image. This will always be the case in any situation especially concerning self-image. This is good and bad. You have those who say good things, positive criticism, and negative about who you are, your image. You have a choice. First, question what type of image they’re talking about. Ask yourself does the statement or question match who I am, your self-image? Second, was the statement or question concerning my image good, positive criticism, positive or negative. Third, depending on which one you decide, you then react to the way you perceived the statement or question. It’s most unlikely when you go with your first thought that you are wrong, but not always guaranteed.
Good– Good is when you know this person has nothing against you and mean you well regardless of your circumstance.
Positive criticism– Positive criticism is when the person is saying something negative but it’s beneficial in your favor.
Negative– Negative is when the all-around statement or questions that the person is talking about it just all negative. In result, meaning to do you harm.
You must react in the appropriate way according to the situation and statement or question especially when you are mad or upset. It’s best to decide to take time to make your decision because rushing to make immediate decisions, leaves the door open to make more bad decisions that result in trying to figure out how to fix the mistake due to an irrational thought or anger. Sometimes it takes a few seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years to make major decisions when you are upset about some things. You must go to God about it because it normally affects others, not just you.
Love yourself and do not allow others to influence how you really think of yourself with improvements. When you allow others to influence how you look at yourself (your self-image), this gives them control, allowing them to control you, your situation, your self-image, your appearance, and your destiny. You and God are the only ones allowed to control your thinking. There is nothing wrong with advice, but when the advice is clearly harmful or something you know is not in your favor…Run! Your self-image is important to you and is what you need for yourself with your own opinion not based on someone else’s belief of who you are. You must decide your own self-image that looks beautiful on you.
Self-Image: Comparing yourself to other people
Looking at yourself in a way to embeds the thoughts of “how can I be like that person?” You have to accept that you were not born to be that person. God made you the way he wanted you to be. Remember and nothing is wrong with the person he created you to be. Ask yourself, what is it about that person that makes you want to be them. You have to ask yourself this because you must not allow childhood sexual abuse to interfere with why God placed you on this earth. Love yourself, want to be who you are with improvements that you know is good for God, then you and others if you wish. Do not compare yourself to someone else because no one can measure up to you and your self-image in the way God wants you to be.
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